Exploding Heads and the School's Insensitivity to Adoptive/Foster/Immigrant Families

I think my head might might explode. Two years ago, my son -- then in kindergarten -- came home with an assignment for Veteran's Day to write the name of an active or veteran serviceperson in our child's family on a star and then send the star back in to school. At that time, I contacted the principal, requested sensitivity to non-traditional and immigrant families, and asked if the assignment wording could be changed to be inclusive by adding "your child's family, family friend, or neighbor."
She told me I was being insensitive to the children who have parents currently deployed. Um, not sure how she got that out of that. I assured her I was not, I was just trying to ensure that children who come here from different countries or who don't know their family backgrounds don't feel excluded. 
She told me that if I felt the assignment didn't fit our situation, to feel free to change it. My head almost exploded then. 
Here's the point: the minute WE have to change the assignment, my child feels like an outsider. Different. Not like the other kids.
Last year, same assignment, same wording. I emailed the superintendent. Gave him all the same points. He said he would talk to the principal.
This year, the assignment has come home YET AGAIN with no change in wording.
My head may seriously explode. What is so difficult about adding "family friend, or neighbor" to the instructions that they can't manage to do it? Why are they so adamantly opposed to making that change? Whose tush do I need to kick here? This is so unacceptable. 


Comments

  1. barb_alootOctober 29, 2013 at 3:14 PM

    Ugh, this makes my head want to explode just reading about it. I have family who served in the US military, and I am a pacifist. This is so offensive in so many ways. Like what, the kids who can complete it and have a star are somehow better? So many children could not complete this assignment, some because of their religion. It is a sh!t stirring exercise designed to instill the school's attitude about the military in children when they should be teaching critical thinking skills. People I love and respect have served in the American military (and other forces) for a wide range of reasons, but I personally could not ask my child to participate... and that sets up conflict in families. Attitudes about the military have been very divisive in my own extended family, leading to some of my aunts not speaking to each other for months. Why the school feels entitled to force the issue is beyond me. They know kids will want to conform and have a star, so the heck with the family's history or beliefs. Children of parents who object will be left out, making the parents the baddies when the school is totally out of line dishing out this assignment. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnnaJOctober 29, 2013 at 4:43 PM

    UGH! I loathed these assignments for the same reasons. But then again, I am the mom who can't and won't say the Pledge of Alliegance because "with liberty and justice for all" is a ways away. Good Luck with this challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  3. KristenOctober 29, 2013 at 5:50 PM

    Your suggestion makes perfect sense. It includes those that would otherwise not be included AND doesn't affect the rest of the kids who the assignment already pertained to. I would be banging my head against a wall, too. This seems like an easy fix and they are making it way harder than it should be. So sorry you are going through this :(

    ReplyDelete
  4. KOctober 29, 2013 at 6:56 PM

    This makes no sense. Is the school purposefully trying to limit the number of stars they get back? There must be any number of kids who don't have members of the the military in their family. Why not be more inclusive?
    Have you tried getting a group of families together to complain, so it's not just one voice?

    ReplyDelete
  5. InventingLizOctober 30, 2013 at 7:33 AM

    Why are they assuming everyone has a veteran or active service member in their family to begin with, whether they are adopted/foster care/immigrant families or not? There are lots of reasons a child might not have a military family member!

    ReplyDelete
  6. PaulaNovember 1, 2013 at 9:13 AM

    Ugh. That's just stupid and stubborn. Makes no sense.

    ReplyDelete

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