Sunflower Fail

Why are our attachment-challenged kids so reluctant to ask for help?

T and his kindergarten classmates each grew a sunflower seedling from seed, in a little plastic cup.

Last night the seedlings came home. I didn't pick T up, so I didn't know about this.

T attempted to plant the thing in our garden on his own and in the process chopped it in half -- leaf part on one side and root part on the other. Fail.

If he would have shown it to me and asked me to help him plant it, I would have found a sunny spot, showed him how to dig the hole, helped him get the plant out of the cup and into the ground in one piece, held it in place while he back-filled the dirt around it, and watched while he watered it.

But he didn't want to ask for my help, so now his decapitated seedling is in the compost pile.

My initial question is rhetorical. I know the answer.

Asking for help = vulnerability.

Vulnerability = I might not survive.

Therefore: Asking for help = I might not survive.

Getting it doesn't necessarily make it any easier to watch the disappointments take place. I have a photo of my Dad and me with the sunflower I grew from a seedling in Sunday school. It's one of my favorite photos of me and my Dad. It may be the only photo I have of me and my Dad.

That little seedling grew to be six feet tall, and my Dad is grinning from ear to ear sneaking into the photo behind me in order to hold up the sunflower while I stand next to it. He looks so proud. I would love to have a similar one of T and me. That circle of life thing.

Maybe having experienced this fail, next time he'll ask? That's a tough one to predict. I'm not holding my breath. I'm hoping, but not holding my breath.

Comments

  1. MegJune 6, 2012 at 4:48 PM

    Great post. Feeling vulnerable is way too risky...sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. barb_alootJune 7, 2012 at 12:12 AM

    Sigh. Hugs. It is so hard to see those little moments we hope for fall apart.

    ReplyDelete
  3. scooping it upJune 13, 2012 at 12:07 AM

    I should know this, but I keep forgetting. sigh indeed.

    ReplyDelete

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