My journey, which was once hyper-focused on adopting our son, but now is more about me navigating life.
Photo Friday -- Sort Of
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We just went out for a family run because it was most definitely NOT a beach weather day...and the kid ends up getting an age group award and setting a record! Proud momma!
I often think T deserved a different family. He clearly had the most difficulties of any child at the Big House at the time he was there. The nannies ignored him, clearly out of frustration with how to deal with him. They gave us pitying -- and somewhat judgmental, I felt -- looks of "Are you up for him?" For good reason. Today, and many days, I don't feel like I'm up for him. He needs a Mommy with an inexhaustable supply of patience. Or even one with a lot of patience. I used to think I was a patient person. He has taught me I am not. I read about other Moms with attachment-disordered children and how calm and patient they are through every meltdown, tantrum, and attachment-related misbehavior. I try. I really try. But I think I fail more often than I succeed. I pick him up at after school care -- which he's not even supposed to be going to any more because in August I requested to cut my hours at work so that he could coco...
If my child will not do an assigned chore, DO NOT FIGHT WITH HIM OVER IT. Doing chores because "we're a family and everyone pitches in to help out the family" is tough for a kid who does not want to be part of this family . Simply tell him, "That's okay. I will do it. But come sit in the room with me while I do it." I tried this out last night with T, who does not want to have to set the table every night -- or any night -- and the fact that he eats the food is just too logical for him right now. When he's feeling like we're not being fair, or that he's being forced to get his ticket punched as part of our family, his brain drops into lower brain mode, where logic is a lost cause. So I told him to wash his hands anyway, and just come sit in the room with me. Of course my child wanted to know why he had to sit in the room while I did his chore. He needs a reason for everything. "Because I love to see your beautiful face and I don...
When I was younger, fall was my favorite season. It seemed, as I day-dreamed out the school windows, that the crimsons, golds, and fiery oranges were a painted canvas to be enjoyed for weeks on end. Now the leaves are a fleeting show of glorious colors one weekend only to be ripped off by a windstorm the next, leaving us to stare at a world of gray and white for the next seven months. Perhaps if I actually had a window to look out while working, I could contentedly watch the season ease into into its show throughout the weeks of September and October, until finally exploding into the grand finale -- and not feel so cheated when the leaves are so unceremoniously flung to the ground to make way for the coming snow. Oh, autumn, to quote Marvell: "...yonder all before us lie Deserts of vast eternity. Thy beauty shall no more be found..." So while I was at Green Lakes over the weekend, I took time to just soak in the colors, albeit with a five year old at my side peppering m...
Way to go T!! Love that photo!
ReplyDeletehow awesome!!
ReplyDelete