Happy Mother's Day


I've spent years filling out endless forms for innumerable government agencies and departments -- and have more forms to fill out and more fees to pay. Been fingerprinted and background checked in two states and by the FBI. I've traveled 14,000 miles round trip to a land that is as different from here as night as from day, endured jet lag coming and going, been stranded in DC trying to get home with a frightened child who'd been stuffed on a plane with complete strangers -- for reasons he doesn't even begin to understand and we're not totally sure of either. I've slept with a little boy curled up next to me, and held him while doctors poked him with painful needles. I've held him tight while he rages, waiting for his quiet body to tell his brain to be calm too.

I've witnessed the miracle of the first time he understood that if he cried, someone would actually kiss his boo boo, and been part of the continuing attachment miracle as he has learned to love us as we have learned to love him -- strangers brought together by fate, not biology. Every day I've helped mend his broken heart -- broken by missing his first family. I've changed pee pee sheets and fished poop out of the toilet and prepped it for fecal sampling. I've spent sleepless nights lying next to my sick little boy, constantly checking to make sure he's ok. 

I wouldn't have it any other way, except that I wish there was a way he could have stayed --healthy, well-fed, and educated, so he wouldn't carry so much grief with him -- with his first family. 

My body isn't magazine perfect, but when I look in the mirror I see a MOM, and there is no greater honor or blessing! My thoughts are with his first ama, whether she is alive and missing him today and every day, or gone to be with the heavens. 

Happy Mother's Day to every woman who has ever parented a child. And hugs for those who are still longing to be moms -- you're miracle is waiting for you!

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