2010 Accomplishments

One of T's 2010 accomplishments: learning to ride a two-wheeler
(no training wheels necessary) over Memorial Day weekend.

As many of us do at this time of year, I have been contemplating what I accomplished in 2010. Without further ado, here is my short, but somewhat exhausting list:

* Became a mother. For years, actually decades, this was on my list of resolutions. A couple of years ago I came to that "if I don't do it now, I will never do it, and always regret my inaction" moment. It's not that I hadn't tried the biological way. But that didn't work, and the adoption route was going to be my only option. Financial considerations and daunting amounts of paperwork had held me back. But bolstered by a conviction that "it will come from somewhere" I forged ahead, determined to be a mom before I turned 50. That didn't quite happen, but it did happen in my 50th year when we brought home T two months before I turned 51.

Am I the mother I imagined I would be? Not as much as I would like. I had images of T and me enjoying story time in the library, going to the zoo, taking long walks through the park, reading books, and me teaching him the alphabet in our FMLA time together. My reality was that he was too traumatized to behave like a typical child in public, and therefore we were largely housebound, and books and educational activities didn't hold a candle to getting into stuff, which is how he wanted to spend his days. The idyllic mother/child time daydream turned into a struggle to understand his trauma and help him learn to cope with it while teaching myself to be more patient than I ever imagined I could be. The patience part is still a work in progress. There are days I'm better at it than others. Sometimes I feel like a complete failure -- no, sometimes I am a complete failure. Other times I feel like I deserve a commendation for my abilities. Mainly I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride, and I'm trying to learn to live with that.

But motherhood has also had its rewards. T loves to cuddle and give and receive hugs and kisses. He now enjoys when I read to him. I started reading to him during bath time. I was determined he would be a 1000 book student when he started kindergarten, whatever it took for me to make it happen. I figured he was a captive audience while in the tub. Now he asks for books while taking a bath, and also before bed. And of course, there is the pride in having seen him progress so far in so little time. He learned to swim, ride a bike, and tie his shoes before the age of 4-1/2. He's skiing now, one month before turning five. His language skills are so good that his pre-K teachers were unaware he was an internationally adopted child until we told them. He chatters up a storm in English and is learning some sight words. We had an extended conversation about Jupiter today and why he can't take an airplane there. He loves participating in our family activities -- running, hiking, biking, skiing, gardening, swimming, and traveling.

*Running. I finally managed to run a 5K without any walking breaks, for the first time since about 2005. There was a time I thought I would never run again, due to excruciating pain from two separate stubborn bouts of plantar fasciitis. I would go to the track to just walk through races -- determined not to quit altogether -- and cry at the thought that this was what I was reduced to. I wanted to run, but my feet failed me. Finally after completely tearing the fascia in one foot, I was able to make a slow but steady recovery. However, the competing demands of motherhood and work, combined with lousy weather in this city, kept me from getting out as often as I would have liked. But hauling around a 40-pound child has apparently made me strong, and despite less training than I would like, I managed to increase my distance while simultaneously lowering my times. There is great joy in just being able to run, no matter how slowly. Great joy.

*Starting a blog. This is my outlet for my desire to write. I was always lousy at keeping a journal. I never liked my journal writing. It was crappy writing, to be honest, and I only occasionally took a couple of stabs at it. I'm not sure this is much better, but I'm enjoying it. Blogging is apparently on the downswing, but I don't care. My self-criticism is that I write blogs that are too long and don't post often enough. I will be working on shorter, more frequent postings in 2011. Haha, let's see how that turns out! Also one of these days maybe I will have the time to figure out how to make this blog a bit prettier to look at. But for now, I'm just happy when I get a posting up.

So here's to all of our accomplishments in 2010, large or small -- and to what the future holds for us in this new year. What did you accomplish in 2010, or what would you like to accomplish in 2011?