Following Directions

We -- and the school -- are having a difficult time getting a certain someone to follow directions the first time. Compliance takes three or four reminders to achieve. It's not outright refusal to follow directions; it's just that he's requiring us to repeat ourselves repeatedly before deciding to do as he's been told.

This drains the patience bucket quickly. I'm sure it falls in the brain drain category, but my brain drain bible is about how to respond to verbalized recalcitrance, not ignored instructions.

I don't have any tricks for this one. So anything that anyone can share that is appropriate for an attachment-challenged, developmentally traumatized child, I'm all ears.

Thanks!

Comments

  1. barb_alootMarch 20, 2013 at 4:39 PM

    Oh yes, I know this one! When asked to repeat the instruction, someone can nearly always demonstrate that he has in fact heard it. But there is some disconnect between hearing and doing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MegMarch 20, 2013 at 7:19 PM

    Ugh, I'll be watching these comments closely... we have the same issue here. Does the teacher provide any kind of warning or countdown before moving to the next thing? ...maybe he could have some kind of classroom 'job' where he had to help in some way that required him to follow directions the first time? Is there any classwide behavior system (ie: earn points toward a class party) around demonstrating appropriate behavior?

    Good luck with this; I'll be checking back!

    ReplyDelete
  3. knMarch 20, 2013 at 7:21 PM

    We will, for short periods, like a morning, or afternoon, focus on 'first time listening.' He gets a point for each first time he listened (i didn't have to repeat.) After a certain number of points he gets special attention, like playing a game he likes. What this has done is build his ability to listen and I also get to praise him for being a good 'first time listener.' It's not a quickie though, takes lots of repetition but over time it seems to be helping. Wish I had more to say, we could use some new ideas as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. barb_alootMarch 21, 2013 at 11:02 AM

      I like this idea! Any tips to get started? Do you focus on particular activities, make it like a game or exercise, or just work it around whatever is going on at the time?

      Delete
  4. AnonymousMarch 21, 2013 at 2:41 PM

    Like Meg, I'll be watching closely. No advice, but feel your pain.

    ReplyDelete
  5. EihpetsMarch 25, 2013 at 7:27 AM

    I was just about to google some solutions to this very problem. I feel like a broken record all of the time and it's gotten exponentially worse in the last few months. Trying to tell myself it's just a phase but I'm ready for it to be over. As of now we've only tried repeating the directions back and it has helped a little. Wish I could tell you it's been an amazing transformation! Maybe someday it will. Good luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. MaryApril 2, 2013 at 5:18 PM

    We have the same problem. We're in the middle of a full psych eval in order to pinpoint problems and find solutions, and this is at the top of my list of things to tackle. I will pass on any strategies that work once we figure out what those are.

    ReplyDelete
  7. SueApril 12, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    I can imagine how frustrating it must be. I am not a patient person so that might do me in. I have worked alot with my therapist --who ironically specializes in children of trauma--and she has offered me so many strategies in helping me help my daughter with a variety of issues--so that would be my first go to.

    In response to your comment on my blog (thank you), my daughter was only at HH for less than 4 months-so I'm guessing she wasn't there with your son.

    ReplyDelete

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